The infamous FOMO… the Fear Of Missing Out.
A dear friend and I were talking about this principle briefly over our lunch a few days ago, and it has since been highlighted in my heart.
What is the fear of missing out?
According to our handy google searching, and http://www.verywellmind.com, FOMO is defined as “The fear of missing out, or FOMO, refers to the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. It involves a deep sense of envy and affects self-esteem.”
Well then.
As I thought about this, I began to recognize how some of these very symptoms try to present themselves to me in my own daily living of life, and I battle them frequently.
According to http://www.shorelinerecovery.com, these are 8 symptoms of this concept affecting your daily life…
- #1 – Always saying yes. …
- #2 – Feeling negative/excluded when missing out. …
- #3 – Low life satisfaction. …
- #4 – High social media activity. …
- #5 – Fast-paced lifestyle. …
- #6 – Shiny object syndrome. …
- #7 – Concerned about other people’s opinions. …
- #8 – The urge to be surrounded by others
Startling.
Where does this come from?
Psychology sources would say, that it comes from advanced and excessive use of technology and social media, or “problematic smartphone use.”
Comparison, false realities, filters, highlight reels, people failing in being willing to be genuinely authentic.
And I’ll say, I get it. Community is important, being connected and feeling apart of a family, or group of friends is vital and we need people.
God made us that way.
But when is the line crossed?
I began to pray and ask God about this. Being in a season of life as a full-time working wife with three children and each beginning to go in their own direction, it gets very busy.
We don’t want to miss opportunities as we grow individually and as a couple with Jesus…we want to give our kids a chance to try new things and see what they may be gifted in, or enjoy doing.
I asked Him, ‘God, am I getting sucked into FOMO? Am I dragging my kids around from a root desire of FOMO, on their behalf?’
In response to my questions to Him, He impressed in my heart this question…
“Which do you fear more? Missing out on some of the really fun times, and sometimes only perceived better experiences, or missing out on My call, direction and Purpose for their lives, and yours?”
It hit me like a brick to the face.
FOMO is the competitor to living out our divine purpose and calling for us as believers in Jesus.
FOMO keeps us distracted.
FOMO keeps our eyes on the shiny things.
FOMO is rooted in fear, just like its very name.
So what would the Bible tell us about this?
Looking at the google definition again, “It involves a deep sense of envy and affects self-esteem.”
The Bible talks a lot about envy.
And the bible tells us more about ‘God-esteem’, than self-esteem… that our most real self is the identity we find IN CHRIST.
Are we jealous? Are we subconsciously trying to live out our failed dreams through excessive practices and sports?
Are we jealous that their kid is actually good and ours isn’t? Are we going to go to extremes by positioning ourselves into a group of people that we want to be like, so that we won’t miss out?
Our kids need to be friends with their kids so that they can make the team… so that they can be seen.
Where is our trust in God?
Won’t we really grow into who God created us to be by being sometimes led into circles of people that we didn’t think we would pick when God guides?
As we follow Jesus, He will direct our path. He will position parents, friends, supports, promotions in His time, along His path.
But if we aren’t considering His direction in our decision-making process of scheduling our calendars, signing up for things, training the kids, if we aren’t asking Him what His will is in all things, we slowly drift and follow what others we want to be like are doing, naturally.
We may just miss His best way completely.
We can’t just do what our parents did for us for the sake of tradition without the counsel of God.
We can’t just assume that the volleyball court and the baseball field are the way for our kids to go because that’s what the surrounding community does.
Sometimes it is the thing God’s gifted them to do for His glory.
And if it is, He won’t need your help and extreme measures to make sure they are noticed or picked. He advances them in His time, in His way, in His perfection.
That’s what is so beautiful.
And until He does, love them like He does while they do nothing impressive at all.
Sometimes it’s our own unresolved conflict from childhood that we have rooted in us that we can’t let go of and we keep trying to make right through them.
I should be looking to Him for next steps and next seasons as we plan the next year for our family, for each individual child.
Looking anywhere else, to anyone else, for anything else except only to Christ, is to put our trust in things, people, places, positions, and our own abilities.
And anything that is not trust in God, is sin.
When it comes to FOMO, I do have to battle it, I’ll confess.
I fear missing out on the fun I’d have coming to dinner with y’all more regularly.
I fear Tate missing out from taking a season off of baseball, because he’s tired.
I fear not letting Rosalie do all the things she’s good at and requiring downtime at home for rest, and family and reading and quiet.
I also do not believe that every single decision we make must be approved and cleared by God, necessarily, or be some “holy” activity. I believe God wants us to just do what we want to do on some things. He wants us to have fun, enjoy life, celebrate and party. Go on the vacation.
But there’s something bigger than all of that for me.
I fear Rosalie growing into middle school not knowing how to tell someone that Jesus is the only real Help.
I fear Tate walking the halls of third grade and beyond not feeling bold to go pray for a buddy who is sad or hurt.
I fear Charlotte growing up being afraid outside home to lay hands on a friend at school and pray for healing, in Jesus’ name.
My biggest, soul shaking fear is the Fear Of Missing Out on what God’s original plan and purpose for my life, for my family’s life, for my kids lives…and finding out what that is from Him.. that HE set, determined, decided and set into motion before the foundation of the world.
I’ll ask myself now… what am I doing with what I know about God, and what He’s done in my life to teach and show Him to my children?
It’s a big job for us mamas. We are truly as followers of Jesus, assigned to our children. We must train them to know Him.
God set you up for success, He equipped you to do it well, by His Holy Spirit… if you’ll walk this road with Him.
Let’s let go of the FOMO on the shiny things, the gathering, the party.
Let’s grab ahold of the real, earth shattering FOMO… the missing out of God’s immeasurably more for you, for him, for them.
That’s the only thing we should fear missing.
“But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.”
Romans 14:23 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/rom.14.23.NKJV (emphasis mine)
“And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.””
Genesis 2:18 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/gen.2.18.NKJV
““Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.””
Deuteronomy 30:19-20 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/deu.30.19-20.NLT
Mama Talks Jesus 
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