3/30/21

Times and seasons…

After a depleting day of stress and overthinking, my sister sent me a writing on turns. It hit home so much right now, I wanted to remember it, so I’m writing my own… to remind me one day of these moments that I am having to press through…

Being a mom to three is hard. Like, really hard. Being a mom to two is hard— and the third one changed the game for good. She’s 4 months old now, and as I semi-exit the scene of survival mode only, although most days still are just to make it through, I find myself barely coming up for air most days… working from home with a 4 month old, pumping, feeding, getting to school and home, homework and grades, packing lunches and snacks and soccer and tball practice, the witching hour of 6-9p with the crying and inconsolable state of Charlotte, the 4 month sleep regression, trying to find 15 minutes of uninterrupted time for conversation with clint, working and learning a new job full time all while trying to smile and be nice… well it’s a recipe for disaster. But I need to remember there is a time and a season for certain things, a time where I dont need to worry about things, and a time where I can allow myself to let some things go. This just happens to be my season for my kids…

a time to rock to sleep however many times it takes…

A time to nap with her when she’s asleep…

A time to listen about girl drama in 3rd grade and advise accordingly…

A time to have that 5 minute Rosalie hug as requested so many times…

A time to all sleep in the bedroom together during thunderstorms…

A time to make the favorite batch of cookies just because…

A time to snuggle and watch AFV every Sunday night…

A time to store up Tates hugs and kisses, because I know they will soon get farther and farther in between…

A time to sit and listen, actively, to my loves. To be the present, steady, warmth of home…

A time to soak up these baby snuggles…

A time for memories made…

A time for sticky goo on the cabinets and smudged stainless steel fridge doors…

A time for Batman and Superman to hang out in my home decor on the fireplace…

A time for pictures drawn by Tate and Rosalie hung with tape beside my bed so that “when you wake up, you will see this and know how much I love you.” -Tate

A time to make home fun, to make home happy.

A time to celebrate the little, the big and the in-between, and to let go of The Who’s and the what’s that complicate life. It’s time to be the only me that my God created, His child, the only wife for Clint, the only mama for Rosalie, Tate, and Charlotte.

In listing times that are, I also need to acknowledge times that aren’t for this season…

it’s not my time to be a workout junkie and spend hours getting fit

It’s not my time to plan a huge vacation for just me and clint

It’s not my time to have a fancy wardrobe or flawless skin and hair, to worry with accessories or if I’m wearing the latest fashions

It’s not my time to be hard on myself about dirty dishes in the sink and laundry piled high… those will wait for me.

It’s not my time to be a high achieving professional, striving to reach and be considered the best in all things work related…

It’s not my time to worry about what other moms are doing, or to gain the approval of others.

So I take my moments, my seasons, and my times, and I am learning to not wish them away anymore… but to fully embrace them for what God is wanting them to be in molding me, dying to self, and renewing my mind to work for Him, all for HIS glory and HIS names sake.

“To everything there is a season,A time for every purpose under heaven:A time to be born,And a time to die;A time to plant,And a time to pluck what is planted;A time to kill,And a time to heal;A time to break down,And a time to build up;A time to weep,And a time to laugh;A time to mourn,And a time to dance;A time to cast away stones,And a time to gather stones;A time to embrace,And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to gain,And a time to lose;A time to keep,And a time to throw away;A time to tear,And a time to sew;A time to keep silence,And a time to speak;A time to love,And a time to hate;A time of war,And a time of peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8