I had a grandmother of one of my patients tell me these words once, “you’re driven by a fight, a challenge drives you.”

She meant it as a compliment, and I was proud at that time in my life to be someone who could push through the hard stuff for her, and get things handled for her grandbaby.

But what I can see now in hindsight is that really was more like immaturity, right?

Almost a ‘savior complex’ that I’ll be the one to finally step up and fix your problems for you…me.

As nurses, sometimes we carry this badge of honor like we have to fight for things, push agendas and dig in to make things happen for our families, as if others in the medical world are not trying to do that same thing, our metaphorical savior complex tries to come in and reign.

Sometimes there are real problems identified that require addressing, to have those hard conversations, confront difficult scenarios, and go after things.

But what I’m learning is there is a maturity that comes when God is growing you up, that transitions you out of “fight to the death,” “sticking it to them,” “I’m right, your wrong mindset,” to a motivation of the heart that actually achieves the goal, has healthy collaboration, and grows the system while honoring and leaving a mark of God’s love on every person that you encounter along the way.

A passionate, purpose driven commitment to resolve a problem patiently, with tenderness and curiosity, verses an attitude of strife and conflict.

A goal that never allows the resolution of a problem to be more important that the made-in-the-image-of-God person that is standing in front of you and how you handle and treat them.

Now as a Christian and follower of Christ, we understand that the Bible is clear that we do not war with flesh and blood, but the spirit in operation in others.

I believe because of that, there is a real fight to be had at times.

The fight can be raw and ugly and authentically enforced by the very person standing in front of you…

Sometimes the kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.

“And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.11.12.NKJV

Eventually, though, as we mature in the Lord, we move from children, to young men, to fathers… like John talks about here:

“I write to you, little children, Because your sins are forgiven you for His name’s sake. I write to you, fathers, Because you have known Him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, Because you have overcome the wicked one. I write to you, little children, Because you have known the Father. I have written to you, fathers, Because you have known Him who is from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, Because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, And you have overcome the wicked one.”
‭‭I John‬ ‭2‬:‭12‬-‭14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/114/1jn.2.14.NKJV

I heard it taught once that the children are described as knowing God as “my sins are forgiven;” that young men are described here as “overcoming the wicked one,” and the fathers, “who know Him who has existed from the beginning.”

Specifically for this writing, we need to move from young men, to fathers in the Lord.

We need to move from this “fight!” stance to a deeper rest in Him.

If we are being honest, most of the time the “fight!” comes from being afraid, adrenaline, anxiety, or even anger…

But there is God’s way, and that’s to keep on stepping and moving forward in growth with Him, keep looking at Him… keep looking.

In Daniel, in chapter 7, he is seeing a vision of beasts and darkness and night visions. I am not going to try to explain these prophetics, but the main take away I wanted to pull here is that Daniel kept looking…

Daniel kept looking through until he saw God.

Spiritual maturity comes as we too keep looking.

Look past the spiritual warfare, through to the heaven above, where God is seen through it all.

Keep looking until you can see the ‘thrones set up, and the Ancient of Days taking His seat, His garments white as snow, and the hair on His head like pure wool…’

Keep looking until you can see the ‘Son of Man, coming with the clouds of heaven…’

““I watched till thrones were put in place, And the Ancient of Days was seated; His garment was white as snow, And the hair of His head was like pure wool. His throne was a fiery flame, Its wheels a burning fire; A fiery stream issued And came forth from before Him. A thousand thousands ministered to Him; Ten thousand times ten thousand stood before Him. The court was seated, And the books were opened. “I was watching in the night visions, And behold, One like the Son of Man, Coming with the clouds of heaven! He came to the Ancient of Days, And they brought Him near before Him. Then to Him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, That all peoples, nations, and languages should serve Him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion, Which shall not pass away, And His kingdom the one Which shall not be destroyed.”
‭‭Daniel‬ ‭7‬:‭9‬-‭10‬, ‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/114/dan.7.9-13.NKJV

When we grow to the place that we understand that the battle is actually won by Jesus, there’s no longer a need for being afraid, adrenaline, anxiety, or even anger…

It’s simply irrelevant.

Keep looking, believer.

Keep looking until you Behold Him.

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